Revealing 5 Secrets To Successful Grand Parenting
Grandparents can be a vital part of a grandchild’s support system in teaching moral, social and spiritual values…working side by side with parents.
Sometimes, grandparents are the only stable element in a child’s life, as evidenced by the increasing number of grandparents who are actually raising their grandchildren for one reason or another.
Here are 5 tips that will help you to be a successful grandparent.
1. Spend Time With Your Grandchildren.
Inviting one grandchild at a time for an activity gives you precious one-on-one time. Your activities could range from cooking a meal together, working in the garden, shopping, playing games, and a having a sleep-over.
Taking a grandchild out for a meal and doing a little shopping has always been a hit with my grands. It gives me the opportunity to visit with the child and find out what his individual interests are. One grandson calls me and asks, “Nana, can I come and spend the night? I need a break!” Of course, I’m delighted that he chooses my home for his respite.
Sleepovers are just the best. Sometimes they come one at a time but, more often than not, their cousins, of similar age, join them. We have a jolly good time eating, watching movies, and playing games. Often we do simple crafts together.
Choose activities that are unique to you, your budget and circumstances but spend time with your grandkids. You can be a support to their parents and a positive influence on them in this unstable world.
2. Listen to Your Grandkids
Often times, grandparents become the sounding board for their grandkids. Kids love to share information about school and their friends to a listening ear. These conversations will help you to know each individual child better and understand his hopes and dreams.
Other times, they may come to you with concerns. Make it a point to listen without judgment and criticism so the child feels free to express his heart. An over abundance of advice from you can slow the flow or stop the conversation. Perhaps a subtle approach later would be wiser than giving too much advice at the time. As the old adage says… “Timing is everything.”
3. Teach Skills and Share Hobbies.
Often, parents don’t have the time or energy to teach their child a particular skill; an extra “leg up” from you is a blessing. You can support your grandkids and their parents by teaching or reinforcing everyday skills.
I know a fourth grader who was having trouble with simple fractions. Grandma had him over and they baked a cake together. The practical applications of measuring the ingredients helped reinforce the concept of fractions.
A grandpa took his sixteen-year-old granddaughter under his wing and taught her how to check the oil and other fluids under the hood of her car.
My grandma had a garden. I helped her pick peas, shell them and prepare them for the freezer. I not only learned a skill but it gave my grandmother the opportunity to tell me about her life while we were working together. The stories are still vivid in my mind.
Don’t assume your grandkids know how to do everything. Teaching them simple skills will build their self-esteem as well as give you another opportunity to bond with them.
4. Read To Your Grandkids
Children love a good story. Sitting down and snuggling up together with an age appropriate book can create an important bond.
My “Grandma Library” is a special collection. These books can’t be used unless we sit down and read them together. When I suggest we read a book, the children run to select their favorites from a special bookshelf. It’s humorous that they often choose the same book over and over again, and that’s fine with me. The most important consideration is that we read together and enjoy each other’s company.
Several years ago, a couple of my older grandsons went with me to the library and we picked up the classic chapter book, “The Boxcar Children” by Gertrude Chandler. It was a nice summer afternoon and we sat on the tailgate of my car and I began to read. When darkness fell upon us, we had to suspend our story until a later time. We had been reading the book for over four hours. The boys still talk about that afternoon.
5. Build and Share Traditions
Traditions can bind a family together giving children a sense of belonging. Traditions create memories that are often passed from one generation to another.
One grandmother takes each grandchild shopping and to lunch before the new school year begins. On Halloween, another grandma has chili and donuts before the kids go out door-to-door to collect their treats. The logs in the fireplace are lit, marking the beginning of the fall season.
One granddaughter and three grandsons come to my home for a sleepover Thanksgiving eve. They wash down the tables and bring up the extra chairs from the basement. The good dishes and flatware from the china cupboard are used to set a formal table. I keep thinking they’ll lose interest in this tradition but so far they haven’t and one of my grandsons is thirteen.
Create traditions in your family that your grandkids will remember and will want to take with them into the future when they have their own children.
What traditions do you have in your family?
We are important in the lives of out grandchildren… as they are to ours.
Til later,
Kathy Griffiths
Insightful Nana
Resource box.
Kathy Griffiths, Insightful Nana, is the mom to 4 wonderful children and 15 grands. She resides on the Wasatch Front in Utah. She can be found at http://insightfulnana.com where her site focuses on women and family issues.
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From one grandma to another, being a grandmother is just plain fun no matter how you do it. I don’t think we need to box ourselves in. I remember raising kids wondering what others thought about my mothering skills. I am glad those days are gone. Nope. No siree. I am a grandma and I do it my own way and that way is just right for me.